Evolve Now

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Tin Soldier Torture

I am busy studying for finals and getting ready for the holidays, so I have even less time to write than usual. But I came across this quote today at the end of Cary Tennis's column on Salon.com and had to post it.

"Oh, and one more thing: It used to be that little boys played with little tin soldiers and little girls played with dolls. That was fine with me.

When my little boy friends and I played with little tin soldiers, we did not torture the enemy. We had learned from our comic books to be decent to our captives. We simply put them in the stockade and kept careful watch over them lest they try to escape. We did not burn them or humiliate them. We did not pile them up naked. OK, we interrogated them, sometimes roughly. But we did not torture.

I wonder how the young boys of America today are treating their little tin captives."

It is sickening to me that Sen. McCain is facing resistance to a law banning the use of torture by all branches of the government including the CIA . The US won't always be the biggest kid on the block, if we don't follow the rules now what will happen to us when we're not in charge?

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

I got my WEDDING DRESS!!!

I bought my wedding dress on Saturday, I LOVE it. I won't be posting any pictures, since Darling fiance read this blog on occasion and I am determined to keep it a secret. If you want to see a picture, send me an email.

I ended up buying the first dress that I tried on. Of course, I tried on about 15 dresses after that just to be sure. Including some that I had no intention of buying--like a ballerina style dress complete with an enormous tulle skirt that was so big it barely fit in the dressing room.

It was a great day and I felt like a princess. I pranced around the bridal store in my dress, veil, shoes, and tiara for about 30 minutes. It was a bit of a shock later that day when I was back to grocery shopping, making dinner, and washing dishes. My mom said "It's a Cinderella thing, you just reversed it."

Friday, November 04, 2005

Law School Jokes

My whole study group was redfaced after checking out these T-shirts with dorky law school inside jokes on the them. My favorites:

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Fall downer

The move to Buffalo has reminded me how much I missed "real" fall. Fall in D.C. is when the temperature finally drops below 80, but it only lasts a week before it goes down to 40 and stays there. I love the multi-colored leaves and crisp bite in the air. I love wearing a sweater and a scarf, but no jacket, to go out to dinner.

But the change of season has made us all sick. Darling fiance, angel babe and I all have the scratch throats and aching bodies. Last night, on my mother's recommendation, we all drank a glass of "Emergen-C," a highly concentrated vitamin C, zinc etc. powder that you add to water--in addition to the 4 time-release vitamin C caplets I swallowed yesterday and today.

Do I feel better? Marginally. The biggest effect is my pee is neon yellow.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Thoughts that are swimming around...

I know that I haven't posted in quite a while and doubt that anyone is still checking for updates, but I've been busy.

I'm in the law school library, where I spend a large portion of my time these days, I found a quite corner tucked away on an upper floor and I am sitting under a skylight, listening to the rain. It is serene, despite the stacks and stacks of books and institutional furniture. School is in full swing and my days are pretty much filled with reading, writing memos and trying to outline.

"Outline" I never knew that word could be so annoying:
"Have you stated to outline yet?"
"Do you have any old outlines?"
"I have her outline and she got an 'A.'"
"We have to get good outlines."
"Where can I buy outlines?"

Outlines are the backbone of law school exam prep. An outline is basically a bulleted summary of everything covered in class during the semester, organized by topic and put into outline form. These things run 50 or more pages for one class. Everyone scurries around trying to get outlines from last year or figure out how to make their own. This is just beginning, I can only imagine what it will be like at the end of November.

I've been having mini-panic attacks lately, nothing to worry about; but every once in a while the details of life become overwhelming. Like last Friday, the professor was telling us that we will be having a review session, so we will start class at 8am on the last day.

I can't make it to school by 8am. Darling fiance leaves at 7:00, my mom leaves at 7:45, and Angel babe doesn't get on the bus until 8:40! This is a problem. Rationally I know that I can figure something out for that day, DF can be late to work, my mom can be late that day or I could get another mom on the block to watch him for an hour and then put him on the bus. But my rational brain wasn't around at the time.

I was short of breath, my vision blurred around the edges, the blood drained out of my face and the other people in the room slowly drifted away. I was thinking about all the work I had to do that afternoon, the scheduled study group session, the memo due on Monday, what was I going to make for dinner that night, when was I going to finish sewing Angel babe's Halloween costume, was I missing out by not going to the Halloween party on Saturday, should I do laundry on Saturday or Sunday, is Zorro really an appropriate movie for Angel babe...

I spent the rest of class in a daze. I was there, I took notes, but I wasn't engaged and certainly didn't raise my hand or participate.

I finally calmed down about 45 minutes after class, after I talked to DF--but then he was all freaked out because I was tweaking.

Of course, the memo got done, so did the laundry, dinner and the costume. Things usually get done, but sometimes I just want to be the kind of person who says "Fuck it" and drops all of the balls they're juggling. When I was freaking out, all I wanted to do was crawl into bed, watch mindless TV and let my brain turn to mush.

I'm doing better this week. We had a great time last night trick or treating in the neighborhood with tons of other kids. It reminded me why we decided to uproot and change everything in our lives--to be a happier family.