Evolve Now

35 Days to Buffalo

I am moving back to Buffalo in 35 days. When I tell people about this I get two different reactions: “YEAH!! I can’t wait to see you and hang out!” or “Why the hell would you do that?” The people who are excited are generally family and friends that live in Buffalo or friends that grew up in Buffalo, moved away and now want to go back. Those that are dismayed are people who have never been to Buffalo or have grown up there and never left.

I remember when I was growing up I couldn’t wait to get out of B’lo, I moved to Washington, DC when I was a senior in college for an internship and never left—that was August 1997. I had always wanted to be part of the political scene and loved being in powerful city filled with influential people, tons of culture and great bars and restaurants. I loved telling people from back home where I was—the subtext being that I had “gotten out,” I had escaped, I moved to the big-time, I was important. I had a great job—I was changing the world!! And meeting all kinds of impressive people. But I delighted equally in telling new friends where I was from and extolling the many virtues of growing up in Buffalo, and boring them with factoids—did you know Buffalo is the dart capital of the world? I even have vanity plates that say BFLO BRN (Buffalo Born). I was (am) proud of where I came from and proud of where I went.

But, years of living in the power-center of the world start to wear on you. DC is a very transient city, not many people are from here and going-away parties are more common than weddings. I love the people that I have met, but nearly ¾ of them have since moved away. I love my job but the last two years have been rough, open dialogue policy dialogue has disappeared, facts no longer matter and questioning government is now branded as unpatriotic (I could go on about this for pages and pages…). DC is loads of fun if you’re childless and/or have buckets of money. I am now at the point in my life where I want to buy a house in a nice neighborhood, send my child to a good school and commute to work in less than an hour. These things seem unattainable for me in DC. A 2 bedroom itty-bitty box of a house goes for upwards of $200,000, public schools are pretty bad and private schools cost more for a year than my entire college education, and if we could find an affordable house it would be at least an hour away from work—and that’s without traffic.

So, darling fiancé and I took a hard look at our life. Do I want to keep working in the foreign policy field? Do we want our child to go to private school? Are the sacrifices worth the benefits? When will it be too late to make a change? Do we want to live in DC for the next 10 years? Are we happy?

We decided: no, we don’t want to live here for the next 10 years, because making that commitment means we have to give up too much. I want to try something different before it becomes impossible because of financial commitments (house, tuition, etc.) to make a change. Fiancé has a career that he could do anywhere, while my current path pretty much chains me to DC; I don’t like the feeling of being trapped that I have been getting recently. We want Angel babe to go to public school and not worry that he isn’t good enough because his classmates drive BMWs and he doesn’t. I need a post-graduate degree to advance in my career, pursing that in DC right now would be next to impossible—but now is the best time for me to go back to school. And let’s face it; living in DC isn’t getting any safer as the US continues to piss off people around the world. We are happy, but we are not happy being here.

Buffalo is fantastic. Just big enough to have pro football and hockey teams, renowned museums, good theatre, concerts and restaurants and small enough to feel like a community. I can’t wait to go back to free Shakespeare in the park, local mom and pop pizza places, streets with trees, sidewalks and driveways, the colors of autumn, courteous and polite service people, commuters who don’t freak out at 5 snowflakes, everything 20 minutes away from everything else, go-kart race tracks, civic pride and family. I have just added a little plug for Buffalo to the sidebar—it’s an animated button that links to the blog Buffalo Rising Journal, a good place to read great things about Buffalo and how to make it better. It took leaving for a while for me to fully appreciate all Buffalo has to offer and more importantly what good fit it is for me and my family at this time in our lives.

We are moving to Buffalo in 35 days. I will start law school and have the unconditional support of my family around me. We will be able to afford a very nice house and get a dog. Angel babe will go to public school. Darling fiancé will have a yard, snow for skiing, public golf courses, chicken wings (of course) and less traffic. I can’t say how long we’re going to stay, but I know we are really looking forward to moving and are going to savor all that the city has to offer. We will be happy.

posted by Rissa Roo @ 12:51 PM